Just say what you mean?

Je komt uit een land waar mensen vaak recht voor je raap zeggen wat ze bedoelen. Zulke directheid wordt in Canada vaak gezien als onbeschaafd. Je moet je daarop instellen.

It is definitely still the English influence in Canada to say nothing with many words but still come across as friendly, courteous and polite. You largely avoid confrontation and differences of opinion.

The "feel-good" society is all-encompassing. You yourself should be happy with all the easy and courteous words, but your conversation partner should also be happy with them. Everyone happy with a constant smile.

Some people get irritated by this after a while. Does it really have to be like this; can't you just say what you mean?

The imposed politeness sometimes comes across as a bit false. What do they really mean when they try to be so polite?

The most famous example of false courtesy is the endlessly spoken question of "How are you doing". As is well known, one does not want to know how you are doing; this is merely a polite formula.

But there are so many examples. Up to people you've talked to at length at an event and they were really smooth, nice and friendly - but if you run into them tomorrow, they don't even recognize you anymore.

An implied invitation to enter into a friendship often turns out to be merely a speech formula without any content.

If a Canadian says to you "we should have lunch some time" or it could also be coffee or a visit to a pub, it doesn't mean anything. That lunch, coffee or whatever, usually nothing comes of it. Maybe the invitation was just a polite way to end the conversation?

Politeness even goes so far that you often get a rejection on a job application in the softest terms. Although one was very impressed with blah blah blah, one still decided ...

Some immigrants easily accept the insincere politeness, while others find it hard to accept.